After Hamas killed his mother, an Israeli man chooses peace over vengeance

HAIFA, Israel — Carmel Neta was on the phone with his mother, Adrienne, when Hamas militants stormed her kibbutz on the morning of Oct. 7. He could hear panic in her voice and screams in the distance.

Neta, 39, did his best to calm her, urging her to take refuge in a safe room and then guiding her in a meditation. Two of his siblings were also on the call, and promised their mom that when the attack was over, they would all travel together to Paris.

They were still on the line as the assailants burst into Adrienne's home. They heard her plead with the intruders in Arabic, which she had picked up while working as a midwife for Palestinian and Bedouin families in southern Israel. Then the call cut out.

Adrienne, 66, died in the massacre at Kibbutz Beeri — one of about 1,200 people killed across the country that day in the deadliest attack in Israel's history.

In the months that followed, angst and anger flared. Tensions between Jewish and Palestinian citizens of Israel simmered and support for a two-state-solution plummeted. As more than 300,000 army reservists were called up for duty and Israel launched a punishing campaign in Gaza, a grim, wartime mentality took hold.

Carmel knew it all would have pained his mother.

A native Californian, Adrienne believed different cultures could and should coexist. She had raised her four children to respect Palestinians, and had been deeply moved when Carmel and his wife had enrolled their two young children in an experimental bilingual school in which students from diverse backgrounds learned together in Hebrew and Arabic.

And so, after her death, Carmel tried not to get angry. He did not seek revenge. To honor his mother, he drew closer to his Palestinian neighbors and the school. During a bleak time, the school was a source of light — and hope. If schoolchildren could get along, couldn't the adults do so too?

Adrienne Neta was of hearty Irish stock, with light skin and a mass of fiery red hair.

She grew up in California and was a skilled flutist and violinist, performing with the California Philharmonic Orchestra. At 21, she fell in love with an Israeli man who was traveling across the U.S. after finishing his compulsory military service. Soon after, she followed him back to Israel, to his home in Beeri.

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