Sexual Notes From the Debate Team
Genetic girl swimmers refuse to compete against new Shayla, who wins every meet because he has the upper body of a home run king on steroids.
It's the same when Monica announces she is Matt, joins the boys' baseball team and starts throwing junk the boy batters can't hit
Bible. Parental tooth grind. Court case. Loss. Appeal. Uproarious School board meetings. Nazi runs for mayor.
Let's fix this.
First, dismantle high school and college sports. Bulldoze the stadiums. No more games against other schools.
Phys. Ed? You bet. Run the little delinquents till they drop. Push-ups. Pull ups. Climb the rope. Pommel horse. Handsprings.
Then throw every school and community's weight behind the math team, the chess team and the debate team.
Gender doesn't matter in any of those sports, and a 115-pound genetic girl can easily out-chess a genetic 220-pound boy. Transgender? No one cares on the math team, and it won't make you more likely to win.
Totally gender-free high school, college and professional sports are within our grasp. We've just been playing the wrong sports.
As a bonus, there's a sub-movement among Americans to have high school courses that teach "real life skills" like doing your taxes. The math team, the debate team and the chess team all teach you about real-life things like math, language and how to think your way through a problem. Dribbling is not a life skill. I've been working since I was 14 and have never been asked to kick the extra point. I have been asked to say stuff, write stuff and solve problems.
I was on the debate team in high school. Size didn't matter. No one ever broke his tibia playing debate and then got hooked on the opioids they gave him/her for the pain. I acquired some real-life skills.
I dream of the day when a pop singer gets his picture taken as he jumps up and down in a luxury box at the stadium, watching his girlfriend solve problems in Math Bowl XXVI.
To find out more about Marc Dion, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit www.creators.com. Dion's latest book, a collection of his best columns, is called "Mean Old Liberal." It is available in paperback from Amazon.com and for Nook, Kindle, and iBooks.
