ArcaMax

Dear Amy: For the past 50 years, I have lied that I was in the military and served in Vietnam.

I'm now 71. I want to come clean with my son/family.

I ran away from a bad home life at 13 and lived on the streets. It was horrible. I was beaten up and sexually attacked. I tried to commit suicide twice.

My self-esteem was so low for many years. ...Read more

Dear Amy: My wife and I are divorcing after 23 years of marriage. I am moving out soon.

We have a 21-year-old son.

I talked with him about it, and while he’s angry, he says he understands.

The problem, however, is that my marriage was bad for a very long time, and I fell in love with another woman.

My wife refers to me as an adulterer. ...Read more

Dear Amy: I've been dating my boyfriend for the past year. I brought my pets and we moved in with him this past December. He's an amazing guy – the absolute best!

The issue arises with his house. He owns a three-bedroom house.

Last July his sister and her family moved in with him.

This took the total number of people from two adults, three ...Read more

Dear Amy: I am a divorced mom in my early-30’s, with primary custody of my 8-year-old child.

I have been dating “Ben” for the past two years. He is a great guy and he is very good with my son.

We have been talking about getting married. He has never been married before (no kids) and I am gun-shy, to say the least.

I own my home, my son ...Read more

Dear Amy: My very best and oldest friend, “Curt” is getting married to his long-time girlfriend.

I have spent a lot of time with them, and I can say definitively that Curt’s life is much worse since they have been together.

His fiancée is extremely controlling and has him on a very short tether. Recently he told me that she threw a shoe...Read more

Dear Amy: I grew up in the same town as “Carly,” the woman I later married. Her older sister “Susan” and I were in the same class in high school.

Susan and I were friendly in high school, but I wouldn’t say we were exactly friends. It was a small school.

After college I returned to my hometown when my father got sick and needed help ...Read more

Dear Amy: My good friends want to downsize for retirement, but the major repairs needed on their house will prevent them from making enough on the sale to buy their next place.

They asked me to brainstorm options, and one idea I had was to convert the basement level into a rentable apartment, so they can use the rental income to complete the ...Read more

Dear Amy: I need to resolve an issue concerning my close friend, “Brian” and my ex-girlfriend.

The three of us used to socialize together when my ex and I were still a couple.

Brian told me that he has not seen my former girlfriend after our breakup except once, accidentally.

However, a couple of days ago Brian volunteered to me that he ...Read more

Dear Amy: My boyfriend’s dad is a CPA, with decades of experience. A few years ago he offered to do my taxes, due to the sudden complexity because of an inheritance – and I was using cheap software for very basic returns.

Since taking over my yearly filing he has consistently made mistakes that have cost me quite a bit of money. He left ...Read more

Dear Amy: My friend "Tina" and I have been friends since college and are now in our 50s. When we met we were members of a campus religious organization, however as the years passed we both drifted away from our religious affiliations. I now would call myself agnostic.

Recently, Tina had a difficult break-up with a significant other. Since the ...Read more

Dear Amy: My brother and I are both in our 70s. We've only spoken once in the last three years.

We lived miles apart for much of our lives, but still kept in touch.

After our father passed, our mother sold their home. My father had previously told my brother that when they sold the house, he wanted to give a certain amount of money to each of ...Read more

Dear Amy: I have a neighbor who was previously convicted of a sexual offense involving a “child.” He served time in jail.

I don’t know the exact circumstances, but I do understand that the term “child” may include a person as young as an infant and as old as a teenager.

The sexual offender is married with two young children.

I know ...Read more

Dear Amy: Have I been gaslighted?

My mother was a difficult person. She was often not nice to my sister-in-law.

I admired my SIL for taking the high road and for being respectful toward my mother, and I told her so many times.

I bumped heads big time with my mother, too, but had a good last six years when she moved near me and dementia ...Read more

Dear Amy, I'm a 45-year-old woman, married to my wife for five years. My issue is my 21-year-old son, who lives with us. He's a good kid but he's now unemployed (for four months) and spends his days playing video games.

My son is very book smart, had a full ride to a prestigious university, but only stayed for a year and a half.

He recently ...Read more

Dear Readers: Periodically, I publish “updates” to previous questions and answers published in this space. The following was published in 2018. The update follows the original Q&A.

Dear Amy: I grew up with two siblings — a brother and a sister. My brother, his wife and three children lived near our parents. My family and I (wife, two ...Read more

Dear Amy: I married a lovely man two years ago. We lived together for three years before marrying.

We met as his first, long-term marriage was falling apart. We are both 70 years old. We spend most of our time together, but my husband has always kept most of the other parts of his life a bit removed from our marriage. He insists that he is ...Read more

Dear Amy: My brother is due to get married next year and while I'm really happy for him, I'm dreading the idea of having to see my mother again.

Our mom ticks all the malignant narcissistic personality disorder boxes: Emotionally immature and dysregulated, lacks empathy, disrespectful of boundaries, etc.

I suffered horrendously growing up, but...Read more

Dear Amy: Some of my family members are going to have a mini family reunion in Paris in a few months – the city where my brother lives.

My brother’s son, wife and their two young children will be flying to Paris from Istanbul, and I will be flying in from the USA.

My nephew’s family and I will be staying at the same hotel.

Several ...Read more

Dear Amy: My 24-year-old daughter is expecting a baby boy.

She told me that she plans to use her biological dad's name as her baby's middle name.

Her dad, "Tobias," and I divorced when she was six and her brother was four. At the time, the literature advised divorced parents to never say anything unkind about one's ex. Thus, I did ...Read more

Dear Amy: How should I react to some of the baffling requests for gifts and money when invited to wedding showers, weddings, and baby showers?

I just received an invitation for my niece's baby shower (my sister is her mom).

Request number one was for a book instead of a card. OK, fine, but she is asking people to give this, along with...Read more