Ask Amy: High-schooler wants to avoid ex’s drama

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on Mar 16, 2024

As the date draws closer the couple might have tasks they would like to assign to you. You might preempt this by saying (to both of them), “We’re all getting excited about your wedding! I’m here and available to help with any last-minute stuff that comes up. Feel free to give my number to your attendants in case they need a hand with anything. I’m happy to pitch in.”

Dear Amy: You are dead wrong in your answer to “Loving Husband,” who asked how to respond to his wife when she complains that her wrinkles make her look old.

You accuse him of ignoring his own aging, when that doesn’t come up and is irrelevant, anyway.

All I see is that he is asking an honest question about how to respond to his wife.

Lighten up. It may be vogue these days to demean men, but maybe once in a while you should listen to one and be a counselor and not quite so negative concerning husbands.

– Dr. Michael R

Dear Dr. Michael R: I’ve heard from several men who thought my response to this question was harsh and sexist.

In his question, “Loving Husband” was obviously sincerely seeking the right words to say to his wife, but he starts with this description: "To this day (when she wears makeup) she is still quite attractive.”

He then focuses on her aging and wrinkles, but never mentions his own aging, with no awareness of how he might appear to her.

My suggested script focused on relating to her, versus judging her appearance.

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(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)