Ask Amy: Estrangement extends through generations
Sam did not take it well. He has more or less stopped communicating with William and when William asked him why, Sam told him that his feelings are very hurt and that he doesn’t even want to attend the wedding now.
We’re not sure what to do at this point. We both think he is overreacting, but we don’t want to hurt his feelings.
Your thoughts?
– Engaged and Worried
Dear Engaged: Your fiancé has one brother. He chose a handful of men to be groomsmen who have been “extremely important in his life.”
If he’d wanted to take a shortcut to make his brother feel like chopped liver – mission accomplished!
“Sam” might not be the primary male connection in “William’s” life (due to the 10-year age difference), but I guarantee that the elder brother is the primary male connection for the younger brother.
This exclusion hurts. You didn’t think it would bother Sam, but it does. He’s been honest about how hurt he is, and I think that your fiancé should apologize and offer him a place in the wedding.
This is not bending to emotional blackmail, but responding to his brother’s honesty.
Dear Amy: Responding to the issue of spouses taking solo trips, as a happy introvert husband who is married to an extrovert who loves to travel much more than I do, I'm always happy to have her go off adventuring.
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